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'Five things Arab men need to stop saying': Palestinian vlogger calls out the patriarchy, again Open in fullscreen

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'Five things Arab men need to stop saying': Palestinian vlogger calls out the patriarchy, again

Hzaineh is smashing patriarchy - one viral video at a time

Date of publication: 20 November, 2017

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Palestinian vlogger Laila Hzaineh's video of how Arab men really should think before speaking has gone viral
Palestinian feminist vlogger Laila Hzaineh has gone viral once again with her latest video hitting out at popular phrases used by Arab men.

Twenty-year-old Hzaineh has quickly gained popularity on social media for calling out regressive views in the Middle East and smashing the patriarchy one video at a time.

Dealing with taboo topics such as casual sexism, harassment and domestic abuse, her latest video has once again been on point with five phrases a man should think about before saying.


1. "I want her young so I can bring her up"

"We normally hear this phrase used in the context of marriage. A man wants a young bride so he can mould her and not have a 'difficult' marriage. How can you not see how problematic such a phrase is? Do you want a girl to adopt here or a wife to marry? Do you want someone who will manage marital responsibilities with you? Do you expect a wife that will raise your children while she is raising herself too? The relationship dynamic between a husband and wife is very different to that between a parent and their child. You can't get a child to raise and marry at the same time."

2. Would you accept it for your sister?

"A woman shouldn't simply be respected because she's someone's sister or daughter. She should be respected as her own individual - not in connection with another man."

3. Anyways, that's what girls like

"Thank you for letting us know what our preferences are. This phrase is normally used by men to excuse their actions. For instance, if a man wants his fiancée to ask his permission before she leaves the house, another will excuse his controlling behaviour as 'oh that's what girls like'.

Don't generalise. And men should not be speaking on behalf of women, they are able to speak for themselves what they like thank you very much."

4. Not all men are like that

"Did anyone ever say all men? Do you not think before feeling the compulsion to protest, 'Not all men?' Say we're talking about domestic violence, we're talking about the women who have lost their lives because of this phenomena, and then along comes a man with hurt feelings and protests, "but not all men are like this!"

Who said all men? We're trying to highlight a certain sector of women who are subjected to abuse, why would you change the entire discourse and make it revolve around you? Life does not revolve around you.

Leave a useful comment."

5. I won't marry a girl I dated

"This thinking stems from the fact that a man believes if he has dated a girl, then so have others, and so he doesn't want to marry her. Is dating wrong, or is dating you wrong? If a woman becomes 'not marriage material' after you date her - maybe the problem is with you then."

Of course, social media loved it.

She’s spot on!

There are many like her – but afraid to speak out. We need to encourage them.

When a male says, "I want a small girl so I can raise her myself" you can see the undisguised paedophilia there – he needs to marry a child who can be a "mother" to his children and obedient to his whims. His masculinity cannot deal with a mature educated independent woman as he won’t be able to oppress her. 

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