A Syrian woman waits to see her stillborn baby

On a bed in a private hospital room in east Amman, the Jordanian capital, sits Syrian refugee Huda Horan, aged 17, who is waiting to see her newborn baby. What Huda does not know, however, is that she will never him, he was stillborn and buried immediately.

The doctors have told her the baby is in a critical condition in intensive care, and she will see him if "God decrees he will survive”. Her relatives sit around her, trying to break the tragic news to her gradually.

This is the second baby she has given birth to in Jordan after fleeing here two years and a half ago.

She agreed to speak to al-Araby al-Jadeed. Huda was visibly tense and said: "God willing I will call him Said. My husband wants to call him Haidar, but I want Said."

The medical team handling her case say they have decided to hide the news of her baby's death because they are concerned for her mental state, and do not want her to suffer a nervous breakdown. The doctors say she had a difficult pregnancy for the last nine months, and the baby was delivered by cesarean. Medical report say the baby died before birth.

Huda lives with her family in financial hardship, supported by her younger brothers. Her father and husband are unable to work; the first is ill and the second has a severe leg injury due to Syrian regime gunfire, and can barely walk.

Her father and husband are unable to work; the first is ill and the second has a severe leg injury due to Syrian regime gunfire.

Huda told al-Araby al-Jadeed how she became a refugee, on the eve of the fourth anniversary of the Syrian revolution. She says she fled from the city of Homs with her family in mid-2012. The trip to the border with Jordan took 11 hours. After crossing the border they became refugees in the Zaatari camp in the city of Mafraq, 80 km northeast of Amman.

When she fled she was six-months pregnant with her first child, a girl, that she gave birth to in Jordan. She named her Malak, Arabic for angel.

Huda says: "Days after we arrived in Zaatari, we left the camp illegally. Life there was unbearable. We stayed in a rented two-bedroom home in a neighbourhood in eastern Amman. The rent was 125 Jordanian dinars a month ($176)."

A year after arriving in Jordan, her husband followed. She had married him when she was 14. The marriage contract was not officially registered in Syrian.

Huda says early marriage is common in Syrian society. However, she points out that the phenomenon increased after the start of the Syrian revolution, because many families feared their daughters would be assaulted by Syrian soldiers or extremist militants.

After arriving in Jordan her husband was taken to the Azraq camp for Syrian refugees, 75 km northeast of Amman. Soon after arriving, he left and joined his wife and daughter in Amman.

Now, eight people live in the house. The household is supported by Huda's brothers, 15-year old twins who work at a carpentry shop. The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) gives them monthly vouchers worth 13 dinars per person per month, about $18, which is not enough to meet even their most basic needs, she says.

Without knowing Said, her stillborn baby that she will never see, is dead, Huda vows she will not have any more children while she is a refugee. She is afraid her children will not recieve proper healthcare or education while they remain refugees.

This article is an edited translation from our Arabic edition.